Friday, April 29, 2011

Slowly returning to "normal"

A dress I've owned for 6 years, and just now fit for the first time!
Well, Opening Night for my show has now officially come and gone and I am starting to feel human again.  Opening Nights for Broadway shows are always huge, stressful affairs that for those organizing the events (the management, of which I'm a part of...) its usually more work than its worth.  Picture trying to assign seats in a 1000 seat theater.  Everyone wants the best seats possible, of course, and don't understand why they aren't as important as others.   And then there is the party to organize and gifts to distribute.  It requires a lot of extra hours, and in my case, a few tears.  

I'll admit it.  On Tuesday, I got so stressed out I had to have a cleansing cry so that I could just purge my stress and move on.   Definitely worked, because on Wednesday, our actual Opening Night, I was pretty calm.  My box office told me it was one of the easiest Opening Nights they've worked and everyone had a lot of fun at the party, which is also a rarity.  Usually the party is a big stuffy affair in a hotel ballroom, or Tavern on the Green (when it was still open.)  Just an opportunity for rich investors to hob-nob with the celebrities.  Well, in our case we actually had our Opening Night at Bowlmor Lanes (yup, a bowling alley!) that opened across the street from our theater and was actually super swank inside.  The space was huge, had tons of lanes and it was a blast to see everyone dressed up and then wearing bowling shoes!  Of course, it doesn't hurt that everywhere I turned everyone was telling me how great I looked.  Compliments are NEVER a bad thing!  :)

Tonight was pretty much my first night off since the craziness of Opening Night began and boy was it nice to start to feel like myself again!  I came home, made a quick dinner and then relaxed for an hour or so.  Then after remembering that the gym closed earlier tonight than during the week, I threw on some gym clothes and was out the door.  I wasn't able to work out for as long as I wanted, but it was just nice to work up a sweat again.  I haven't worked out for over a week and I was starting to feel really gross about myself.  But I have tomorrow off and since its supposed to be nice, I might go run outside.  Then on Sunday, I have to be at the theater for our matinee and evening show, but I was thinking I would go to the gym by my office and try out the pool.  We'll see how it goes!

As you probably noticed (or maybe not...) I didn't weigh in this week because with the stress of Opening Night also comes the loss of time to cook for myself and therefore was eating out much more than normal.  I didn't eat great, and I honestly just didn't want to see the effect it had on the scale.  I know I've said this for a while now, but it's truly time for me to get back on track.  If I want to ever get out of the 250s I need to start tracking every single thing that goes into my mouth again, and exercising at least 4 times a week.    It's what helped me lose almost 60 pounds and it needs to help me lose 50 more.  I need to find my drive again and relight my fire.  Find my inspiration and stop being complacent.  I need to do this for me again...  

Anyway,  I think I might not actually weigh in for a full month.  I've read several blogs where people have done this, and I want to give it a go.  I know its going to be hard, but I would really like to see a large difference in the scale rather than the small inch by inch loss per week.  If this experiment is a success, I might just go to monthly weigh-ins.  We shall see!  So, I'm not going to be stepping on the scale until the beginning of June.  If I REALLY work my ass off (literally!) I hope to hit 240 by my birthday on June 13th.  Here's to hoping!!

So, good night to the few of you reading.  Sweet dreams.  May "golden slumbers fill your eyes"


  1. Congrats!! I'm proud of you! I graduate in 2 weeks! And you're opened! LET'S HANG OUT SOON!

  2. yay for us and birthday goals!! you look great, btw! beautiful dress and congrats on the smooth opening!

  3. I'm so proud of you, my friend. You are such a hard worker and looked gorgeous. Don't stress about the scale right now - no matter when you weigh in, I know it won't affect the outcome for you - success!