Thursday, February 23, 2012

Failure: Or How to Feel Like One

Yesterday was supposed to have been a weigh day.  Honest truth is that I did weigh myself but I almost fainted when I saw the number.  Gut reaction?  Shame and disappointment in myself.  I knew I indulged while in Memphis much, much more than I said I would and definitely more than I should have.  The result?  A 7 pound gain in one week.  I've never gained that much in a week, or at least since I've been tracking.

Of course I want and need to get back on track, but it seems like everywhere I turn this week I'm hit with a reminder that I'm failing.  I'm currently 10 pounds heavier than where I was when I left for tour and to make matters worse I went for a "run" yesterday.

I've been wanting to try and get back into running for a couple of months now.  I essentially stopped last year after a rather disastrous 10k where I hit the "wall" and pretty much fell on my ass.  I was in the midst of training for a half marathon and at that point I just couldn't get my head back in the game.  I decided to take a break from running and then join a gym.  Truth be told, I didn't run much more for the rest of the year after that.  It's taken me this long, but I'm finally ready to get back into it.

Unfortunately the "run" yesterday reminded me of how much I've lost in a year.  I couldn't even make it a mile without stopping and needing to walk.  I couldn't even tell you what my pace was, but I'm pretty sure it was embarrassing.  For a 1.5 mile loop, I probably walking 1/4 of it.  I wanted to cry.  Last year I was running 5-6 miles and not thinking anything of it.  Yesterday, and today for that matter, I was making a mile my goal.

I just feel like I've let myself down.  I'm going to keep working hard to get my stamina back, and don't worry... I'm going to be smart about it.  I'm going to add length to my distances little by little.  I'm not going to think that I can run a half marathon in a month or anything...  My goal by the end of this week if to hopefully make it that full 1.5 mile loop without stopping.  We'll see if I make it.

I just am finding it hard to be proud of myself for anything at the moment.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday: 2/15/12

Last (official) weight:                               242.0
Current weight:                                        241.2

Current loss:                                                0.8

Total Weight Lost:                                    68.8

Yes, it is officially a loss this week of almost a pound, however what you guys don't know is that the first week of the "no scale" experiment I actually ballooned up to 245.  Kind of why I wanted to go "scale free."  I was embarrassed by it, but it kicked my butt into high gear.  It's what prompted me to figuratively smack myself and get back on track.  That first week I got back down to 241 and I have stayed there.  (I actually peeked this past Sunday and had really gotten down to 239, but the first few days in Memphis have obviously changed that!).

So, I've learned a couple of things these past few weeks:

1.)  When I count calories and exercise, I lose weight.  Plain and simple.

2.)  I can't go without a scale.  Even though I wasn't posting weigh ins, I was most definitely checking on myself to make sure I was on track.

3.)  That I did need to kick up my exercise routines.  I'm doing a minimum of 60 minutes, 4 times a week and trying to get in extra sessions beyond that.  Even if its just walking on a treadmill while I catch up on TV, it's burning calories.

4.)  That I need to try and get as many of my workouts done in the morning.

Okay, so that's what I've learned these past few weeks.  Here's to hoping that I can continue to at least maintain this week here in Memphis and I don't let the smells of barbecue wafting over from Beale Street deter me.  Next week we have kitchens again, so I expect to drop some weight again next week.  I want to get to the 230s and STAY THERE!!!

It will happen.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

What to do in the land of Barbecue

Well, my job has landed me in Memphis this week.

That's right.  The land of good music and good eatin'.

The good music I welcome with open arms.

The good eatin' I welcome with reluctant arms.

I have been on a pretty darn good roll the past two weeks.  I have been working out about 5 times a week and my eating has been pretty on point.  If all systems are still a go, I should post a number on Wednesday that will make me quite happy.  That's the problem though.  I have to stay on track with the food, and being a block and a half from Beale Street is probably not a good thing.

The biggest problem is that this week is going to be insane.  See, the show that I am touring with is "coming home" essentially.  My show is set in Memphis during the rise of rock and roll and so being here in Memphis is a celebration.  It's the week that we have been waiting for.  Because of this, I'm incredibly excited about this week.  The flip side of this is that there will probably be a lot of partying this week starting with the opening night party tomorrow.  Then, there is another party Saturday night and the ushers at this theater evidently cook and host a potluck on Sunday between the matinee and evening performances.  Those are all excellent opportunities for me to indulge myself in food and alcohol.

This week is going to be the ultimate test of my will power.  I already went to a BBQ place tonight with the majority of the company.  I tried to be "good" but really who am I kidding.  I ate fried catfish.  Granted, I didn't get it with french fries and I didn't get ribs smothered in BBQ sauce, but I still ate something I shouldn't have.

Here's my plan for this week.  I'm going to allow myself a maximum of two drinks at the parties.  I'm going to allow myself one more "splurge" meal.  Other than that, I am going to try and stay on track.  Am I going to eat and drink things I shouldn't?  Yes.  But, I also need to not punish myself this week.  I need to enjoy myself and revel in the awesomeness.

Private tour of Graceland?  Check.

Watching my cast be the "Duckmasters" at the Peabody Hotel?  Check.

Potentially see some AMAZING music live, both by my cast, and by other visiting musicians?  Check.

It's going to be one HELLUVA week and I'm most certainly looking forward to it.

See ya on Wednesday folks!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Weigh In Wednesday: 2/8/12 (Not technically)

I know I said I was going a couple of weeks without a scale.  Well, I peeked this morning.  It's not an official weigh in, but I have to say that my current plan is working!  I've unofficially lost four pounds from last week's unofficial weigh in.  (So much unofficial stuff going around!  I feel like I'm a spy or something!)

So, here's what I'm currently doing:

Wake up in the morning.

Work out (45 minutes cardio, 20-30 minutes weights & strengthening)

Eat breakfast.

Track calories.

Drink water.

Drink more water.

Track more calories




Get back to the hotel from the show.

If I have time at night, get back on the treadmill and walk while I watch TV.  Nothing strenuous, just burning more calories while walking at a comfortable pace.

Go to bed.

Rinse and repeat.

My covert February plan was to try and get that second work out in at night.  So far, I haven't done it but once, but its still in the plan.  I feel really good.  I just feel lighter if that makes sense.

The biggest thing is that I'm tracking every single thing that goes in my mouth.  That's HUGE.  I've been doing it for a week now and it's obviously paying off too.  I'm reminding myself what it feels like to eat proper portions.  Have I been hungry?  Yup, but I need to retrain that stomach to get used to the smaller portions.  That and eating healthier things.  I was actually very proud of myself during our stay in Detroit.  Because we had kitchens I cooked all but two meals for myself the entire two weeks we were there.  That's pretty darn good, and I'm sure why I saved on so many calories.  Helps when you aren't stuffing your face with sodium and fat laced restaurant food!

Also, I'm tracking the calories I burned and I'm eating back at least half of those calories every day.  I did this at the beginning when I was first losing weight and I think it helped because I wasn't eating the same number of calories everyday and therefore my body wasn't getting into too much of a routine.  You gotta shake it up.  Can't let it get stagnant!

I feel like I'm back on track.

Next week will be my next "official" weigh in.

Keep on truckin' my friends!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

February experiment

I am not posting a weigh in today.  Lots of various reasons that I'm not going to get into but the main one being that I am going back to the experiment of going scale free for a couple of weeks.  I am taking my scale out of my hotel room today and putting it in my trunk o' stuff at the theater.

But, I am here to announce a couple of experiments that I will be trying for the month of February.

One of the main things that I have noticed is that while I'm at work, I snack.  All the time!  I know I wrote a post about this back when I was in Charlotte, but after the holidays the snacking never went away.  So, I am going to try for the month of February to only eat when hungry.  Again, I am not really eating horribly, I am just eating too much.  So, by scaling back the snacking I will most likely be reducing the calorie intake by a good 500 calories.  (it was a LOT of snacking.)

The other experiment is that I am going to continue to up my work outs.  I am not sure in what ways will be possible depending upon each varying city, but I will scope out the scene in each city upon my arrival on the Monday and make my plans accordingly for the week.  For instance, we have been in Detroit for over a week and I joined a local gym so that I could get access to more weights.  Right now I'm preparing to head over there to get in about 30-45 minutes of cardio and then about 45 minutes of weights.  Then in the evening after I get back from the theater I walk on the treadmill while I watch some TV.   The evening treadmill is not so much about getting the heart rate up, it's about just staying active.

This is just my experiment, it could utterly fail, but I want to try it.  Next week in Appleton, WI the plan could drastically change depending upon what resources are available to me.  We shall see!!

Keep you updated soon!