Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Nothing New To Report

Same weight...  Same frustration.

I am exercising, but I can't seem to get my eating under control.  Yada, yada, yada... Same ol', same ol'...

Getting really frustrated with myself.  I was SO CLOSE to such an amazing goal and then I had to screw it up.  Really don't see a lot of my goals happening now, or if they do not for a long, long, LONG time!  I'm really upset about it.

I was thinking about it and I lose 40 pounds in 5 months when I first started this thing.  And over the course of the past 10 months?  Only 25 more.  That's not okay in my book.  Yes, I still lost, but not nearly what I should have.

I know I sound like a broken record but I REALLY need to get back on track and I just can't seem to do it!!


Saturday, November 5, 2011

Weigh In: 11/5/11

Well, I only lost half a pound from last week so that says to me that it definitely wasn't water retention that caused the weight gain last week!  It was poor choices...

I've been really great about exercise this week (including Bikram yoga!) but I am still obviously off in terms of my eating.  I know the bad choices as I make them, I am just not stopping myself from making them.  That's kind of a big deal...  Hello self restraint?  Where have you gone?  Why have you forsaken me?

Time to man up and start making difficult choices again.  Like to stop eating after 9 PM.  Like to get a side salad instead of fries.  Like to walk by the bucket of candy in the Stage Manager's office and not grab a handful.

Come on Maia.   You can do this.  Get back on track!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Bikram Yoga Adventures

The other night in the office, a co-worker asked me if I wanted to venture to a Bikram Yoga (hot yoga) class with her.  Having only attempted Bikram once before in my life, and it was on the hottest day of the year and I was about 70 pounds heavier, I decided that I should give it another shot.

We signed up online for the class to ensure our spots and also I did it so I knew I couldn't back out of it.  If I had already paid for it, I would definitely go.  The next morning we walked to the studio which was about 20 minutes away and I proceeded to get more and more nervous as the walk continued.  I knew that I wouldn't be judged for not being able to do every pose full out, but more I was nervous about what this was going tell me about myself and my journey thus far.  I was setting a certain expectation on myself on being able to achieve more in this class than I had in the one several years before and while I was pretty sure that I would do better this time, the thought still crossed my mind that maybe I wouldn't...

As we got to the studio we were greeted by two very nice guys behind the counter, one of which was going to be the instructor.  He recognized my name immediately when I signed in and he proceeded to walk me through the basic breathing as I signed the release form.  I had my ankle surgery in between the first class and yesterday and it didn't dawn on me that it might affect my ability to do some of the poses.  It did end up affecting me.

After signing in my co-worker and I went into the room to kind of adjust to the temperature and just get into the mind set for class.  It was definitely warm but I didn't feel uncomfortable like I usually do when I get hot.  Oh, I also dressed more appropriately for Bikram this time than I did the last time.  Last time I didn't know that it was a hot yoga class and I had on sweatpants!  BAD mistake!  This time I had on my capri running tights and a Nike workout top, both made from material whose purpose is to wick away moisture from the body.  Every little bit helps, right??

Okay, here's the first sign that I knew yoga might not be for me...  The yoga instructor came into the room and I almost immediately burst out laughing.  Because guys tend to not wear shirts during Bikram, the instructor came in wearing shorts and nothing else but that's not what made me laugh.  It was the fact that they were CHEETAH print shorts that basically looked like boxers that almost made me snort.  I purposefully didn't make eye contact with my friend because I knew she noticed the same thing.  Judgement over what people are wearing does not a Yogi make...

Once class began and we got to work on the standing poses I felt pretty good.  Sweat almost immediately start poring from my body but I didn't mind at first.  I had a little bit of a struggle with some of the balancing poses, especially on my right ankle, but I knew that those were things that would come if I continued to practice.  I only sat down to catch my breath once and I felt good about that.  I was pushing myself, but not outside of my limits.  I noticed that people who were obvious frequent class attendees also sat occasionally so I didn't feel like a failure (like I did in the previous class.)

Actually it wasn't really until we got to some of the sitting poses, surprisingly enough, that I had some struggle.  He did an entire series of moves that required me to sit on my ankles and I just couldn't do it.  It actually really hurt my right ankle to sit on it, so I just sat and continued breathing and joined in when I thought I could.

The last series of exercises were a bit tough as well, but that was honestly because of how the instructor had us execute them.  There was a lot of spinning around and sitting up and laying back down and it kind of made me dizzy.  So, after about 15 minutes of spinning, sitting up and laying down I finally just stayed laying down for a couple of them.  Those I was a little bit frustrated I couldn't continue, but oh well...  The other sign that I knew that Bikram wasn't for me?  Half of the time that we were on the floor, especially laying face downwards, all I could think about was how the carpet needed to be cleaned because  it smelled like stale sweat.  Not exactly a smell you want to be sticking you face into...  Yuck.

All in all, I think I did much better than the other Bikram class I had attended.  The instructor told me my goal was just to stay in the room which I most definitely did.  I also did MUCH better with my breathing during this class than I had previously.  I think that has to do with the fact that my body is used to exercise now though so I'm not forcing myself to remember to breath through a stretch.  It just naturally does it now.  I did feel very detoxed and refreshed after the class I will admit, but I still don't think Bikram is for me.  Could I continue to do yoga on a regular basis?  Yes, I do believe I could.  But, I don't think Bikram is the right fit.  At least I tried though, right?