Wednesday, February 23, 2011

To Life! To Life! L'Chai-im!

Back at the end of August 2010, I had my epiphany.  My "ah ha" moment.  It was Divine Intervention.

Whatever you want to call it, I decided to get my shit together. (pardon my language, but I gotta be frank about this.)

As a bridesmaid last March.
Size 20+ (in denial of being a 22)
I realized that I had spent the majority of my time during my unemployment in my bed watching TV, eating incredibly unhealthily and being unhappy.  I realized that while the fate of my employment status was essentially in the hands of others, I could at least get my fat ass out of bed and enjoy the fact that I live next door to Central Park.  I was having to cook at home to save money, so why not start cooking healthier meals?  Make a damn salad once and a while?  It was time to exert some control in my life.

So, I did.  And I haven't looked back.

I remembered that my sister had lost a good chunk of weight by simply taking walks, so that's what I thought I wanted to do.  I had no plans to ever run.  I was not a runner.  I could never even run a mile.

I had never even attempted to count calories before.  Nutrition Facts were just on the side of food to taunt me.  I started measuring and weighing and logging everything I ate.  And within a matter of days, I saw the pounds start to melt away.

There have been some massive ups and a few downs a long the way.  Some lapses in judgement have occurred, but for the most part I've been strong and getting stronger every day.  (Physically and Mentally.)

A lot has happened since Labor Day. I have run 2 official races, and my longest jog ever: 5 miles. I got a job, which I like to think I got because my world had found balance.  I truly believe that things happen for a reason and when they are meant to happen.  I have had far too many examples of that in my life to not believe in fate.

As I sit here writing this, I am 260 pounds.  I am the lightest I have been in my adult life (or really since I started paying attention to my weight at the age of 24.)   I am a size 16, a size I haven't even ATTEMPTED to fit into since junior year of high school.

50 pounds lighter.  Size 0X(?) top.  16 Jeans.
I have lost 50 pounds.  This is a milestone that I wished that I would see one day, but honestly never really thought that I would.  This number says so much to me, but the thing that it says the most?  That I'm capable of anything once I truly devote myself to it.  I never thought I could run 5 miles, but I can.  I never thought I would fit in a 16 again, but I do.  I never thought I would be happy with the way I look, but I am!

But, you know what?  While I am happy with the way I look, I still have a ways to go.  This isn't even halfway to my goal weight of 200 (remember I'm 6'2").  I started at 310.  This is just a stepping stone in my life long journey.

Because when that day comes that I see the number 200 on my scale (because it will happen...) my journey doesn't end there.  My life will be my journey at that point, because I won't be letting my weight control my life anymore.  I will be controlling it, for probably the first time ever.

I want to thank you all for helping me.  You have given me a plethora of support.  You have given me strength when I couldn't find it within myself.  You guys have helped make this possible.

Here's to life, and no longer being afraid to live.


  1. Seriously audibly clapping in front of the computer for you. So what if my husband thinks I've lost my marbles? So happy for you.

  2. Thank you Emily! Your support from afar has sincerely helped!!

  3. I love this, Maia! Congrats! Let's continue on this journey together! I'm finally not afraid to know that I needed to reach out to others and WITHIN MYSELF for help with this sometimes challenging battle, and it's great to know that others are doing the same! Here's to us!

  4. Maia, I don't even know that you know I follow this, I feel like it came across my facebook at one point and I added it to my google reader friends blog feed and so have been keeping up! I love your posts. I find them truly inspirational, you're a wonderful writer and I'm so happy for you. Hope this doesn't seem random out of the blue stalker crazy. :) But thank you for blogging, its wonderful.