Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Up and Down and Round and Round

I'm getting really frustrated.

For the past 7-8 months I've been at a complete stand still.  My weight has fluctuated within the same ten pound range and I can't seem to get below 238.

This week, I've ballooned back up to 246 and I don't really know why.  I'm working out about 5 days a week, my eating has been a little worse, but most definitely not enough to warrant as big of a weight gain as I experienced, and it just seems like no matter what I do I can't make the scale move.

I'm getting really frustrated with the whole situation and really starting to think that I won't ever get to see the light at the end of this tunnel.

I have a goal and I really want to reach it, but I just don't know if I will.  I'm almost back to where I was mentally at the beginning of this whole thing.  When I look at pictures of myself, I'm disgusted.  I think I look awful and all I can see is a fat person who needs to lose weight.  I'm no longer proud of the weight I've lost.

I've actually caught myself thinking "to hell with it, I'll just quit and gain it all back..."

I need to get out of this, but nothing I am doing seems to be working.


1 comment:

  1. NO!!!! *smacks you on the head*
    You've come SO FAR. Is there any way to put the scale away and just use your workouts as a metric? I mean, workouts 5 days a week is nothing to sneeze at - that's great.
    I've been bouncing around the same weight for a year, so I understand. Please don't get discouraged. You look amazing and are so much healthier.