Watch those hands buddy!

I willingly admit to the fact that I am a fan of good ten minute back massage at a nail salon. Almost always after my manicure is complete, I indulge myself in a back massage that costs about $15. Sometimes its worth every penny and sometimes I'm gravely disappointed. But, never less, I'm sure at least an ounce or two of lactic acid has been squeezed out of a muscle and I will at least feel better for a bit. I tend to carry all of my tension in my shoulders, so its worth it to me to feel those knots disappear even if it is only for a moment or two.

However, lately I've started to notice a trend at my local nail salon. I must say this upfront, I would never even consider finding another salon because this place's manicure lasts me longer than any other manicure I've had in this city. They are the best I've found. I will not give them up! The problem is obviously not with the manicure, but with the massage that comes after.

I've noticed what was intended as a back massage tends to wander to other places!

No, not there you dirty minded people!

I'm saying as I sit in the massage chair, they tend to move pretty far down my back to the point where I have to ask myself, "Do they realize they are essentially massaging my ass?" I mean, it's not a high tension area generally speaking. I'm sorry, but the only time I am okay with this area being massaged period is only in my fantasies and there my masseuse looks spectacularly like Alex Skarsgard... No offense to the lovely ladies at the nail salon.

Maybe I need to start being more specific.

Rather than tell them I want a back massage, I ask for a shoulder massage. ONLY shoulders!

Maybe I should get a tramp stamp that says "Do Not Touch Below THIS Line!"

Either way, my bum is not to be massaged, thank you!