Sunday, September 26, 2010

Tomorrow is another day

Today I had a minor setback in Project: Healthy Maia.

This setback doesn't actually have to do with weight, but with another part of myself that I've been trying to get healthy as well and that's my spirit.

I know, I know it probably sounds corny as hell but this summer was a really bad one for me. As I believe I mentioned previously, when someone has essentially built their entire life around their career and has made it a major part of who they are, when that person isn't working they tend to feel lost and like they've lost a major part of their very being. I've been in this state of nothingness since May when I last worked.

In June, I interviewed (twice actually) for a job. Then the company went through some major restructuring and I thought the job I was interviewing for disappeared along with a lot of other things. I had completely written it off. Then, about a month ago I was contacted again and was informed that the job did still indeed exist and they were still interested. Color me excited!

Today I received an email telling me that they were wrong. No job. I felt like someone had just popped the balloon that was my self worth. All of a sudden the progress that I had been making this past month towards a happier version of myself was gone. I am back where I started (only now 8 pounds lighter) and I feel as if I've wasted these past 4 weeks that could have been spent sincerely looking for a job in earnest instead of waiting around for this job that now never was. Who knows how many jobs I could have applied for in that amount of time?

I know I will eventually find a job, but its hard
not to feel a bit helpless and hopeless right now.
I guess the difference in myself now from the myself of 4 weeks ago is that I know I will eventually be okay. I can't dwell on it forever. I need just brush myself off and get right back on the horse again. Tonight, however, I'm allowing myself to wallow in my unemployment. But only for tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up, and take charge again. Because as Scarlett O'Hara once taught us, tomorrow is another day.

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