2011: Year of the Good, Bad and Ugly

Well, it's New Year's Eve and time for me to join in with all the other bloggers out there to write a recap of my year.

It was an interesting year for me, to say the least.  One where I started out unemployed and ended it working on a national tour, something I've always dreamed of doing.  It's amazing how much can change in just one short year, isn't it?

Let's see... 2011...  What kind of joys and sorrows did you bring?

In 2011:

I Did Life.

I ran.

I returned to Broadway.

I signed up for a Half Marathon.  Then didn't run said Half Marathon.

I hit 50 pounds lost.

I hit THE WALL and have essentially been on a running hiatus ever since.

I chopped my hair off.

I turned freakin' 30!

My Broadway show closed, but I got hired for a national tour!

I had my One Year Fativersary.

I worked out with a trainer and now miss said trainer very, very much!

I almost became just overweight.

I hit 75 pounds lost and then didn't.

I tried Bikram Yoga and decided it wasn't for me.

I recommitted myself to the whole process, only to have the holidays hit.

But, I will say I'm definitely ending this year on a high note.  Did I accomplish everything that I had hoped?

No.

Did I work hard?

Yes!

Sure, I might not be at the weight that I thought I would for the end of this year, but I've still done an incredibly thing over the course of this year, and this is not the end!  2012 promises to bring even more exciting adventures and I can't wait to bring you all along for the ride!

In 2012, I am going to Canada!  Germany!  Japan!  I hope to visit my little sister in New Zealand!  I will continue to see cities across this country I call home, including ones I've never seen before like Seattle and Portland!  I get to see Jason in Dallas!  Hell, I am ending this year by celebrating New Year's Eve in Miami.  I have a freakin' tan on New Year's Eve, I mean how awesome is that?

I will end this New Year's Eve post by weighing in for the final time in 2011.  I have a goal for 2012, and its the same goal I've had since I started this whole thing.  I would like to hit 200 pounds by the end of this year.  Doable?  Yes.  Will it require a crap ton of hard work?  Yes.  Am I ready to give it a good ol' college try?  HELL YES!  I think I might even take up running again.  I kind of miss it!  See, who knows what the future holds!!

Alright, here is the year in numbers:

Weight as of 1/1/11:                               266.8

Weight as of 12/31/11:                           242.6

Total Weight lost in 2011:                       24.2

Ouch, when I see a number like that for the entire year, it's a bit hard to take!  I've been fighting with the same 10 pounds for essentially the past six months.  ARGH!  NO MORE!!  I have 40 more to lose and I WILL LOSE THEM!  No more Mrs. Nice Guy!!

2012, watch out!  Maia's comin' for ya!

Weigh in Wednesday: 12/28/11

Last Weight:                        240.4
Current Weight:                   242.0

Current Gain:                        +1.6

Considering it was the Holidays and I kind of purposefully indulged (and barely exercised at all...) a gain of a pound and a half is okay with me!   I'm back into my "normal" routine today, so I'm hoping that these pounds go away with relative ease.

We're in Miami these week and I'm quite enjoying the sun and the water.  It's interesting, but during my heavier days I avoided the outdoors and sun like the plague.  I hated the way I looked in a bathing suit and now I relish the sun.  Sure I have a moment every now and then where I wonder if I should suck in my stomach, if my legs are too big, etc but then I just say to myself, "You know what???  Screw it!  Who cares what anyone thinks!"

So, I'm off to the gym to work off these few holiday pounds.  The view from my hotel's gym is of Biscayne Bay.  I know, I live a rough life...

Weigh In Wednesday 12/21/11

Highest Weight:                                                          310.0
Last Weigh in:                                                            239.2
Current Weigh in:                                                       240.4

Weight Gained:                                                            +1.2

Total Weight Lost:                                                       69.2

Notice the swollen left ankle

Boy, was this last week a doozy!  It started in Indianapolis with a visit from my mother, so I knew that I wasn't going to be eating completely on plan and that I wouldn't be exercising really.  And then the Plague hit.  I continued to weigh myself daily during the Plague just out of curiosity and I dropped down to 234.4 during this time.  That would be because I dehydrated and hadn't eaten in 24 hours though... Not exactly accurate.  Afterwards I still wasn't really able to exercise or eat that much, but when my appetite did return?  I think I overcompensated for the previous couple of days...  Kind of calorie splurged.  But you know what?  It's the holidays and if I only saw a one pound gain this week?  I'm doing ok.  Also, I still haven't really been able to exercise as much as I would like because I freaking FELL DOWN on Monday and tweaked my ankle pretty bad (attack of the Klutzy Maia!).  It was swollen all that night and Tuesday it still wasn't not feeling good at all.  This morning, however, it was feeling pretty good so I walked over to the beach (yup, a beach visit on the first day of winter!  Holla!).  It's still a little swollen so I'm going to stick with some low impact things for the next couple of days, like swimming, but I will most definitely get back on the exercise band wagon.  I feel gross!!

This will be my last update before Christmas, so I just want to wish every a very happy holiday!  May you be granted tidings of great joy.

Peace and love to all.

This post brought to you by: The Plague

My Mom visited me on tour this week.  This was the first time that I got to see her in almost a year.  And was I able to enjoy her visit?

No.

Why?

The Plague.

About one-third of our company got sick this week and unfortunately I was amongst them.

BOO!

I was really bummed because I am not able to go home for Christmas and this was to be our holiday time together, but she ended up leaving early because she didn't want to get whatever it was that I had.  Let me tell you, she made the wise decision because it was NOT fun!

I always hate getting sick because all I want to do is feel normal again.  I want to be able to sit up without massive stomach cramps, or not have a throbbing headache!  I want to have an appetite again!  I'm such a baby when I'm sick because sometimes all I want to do is cry because there is nothing I can do to make it feel better.  I HATE IT!

Anyway, I am now back to about 98% normal and am luckily eating food again, because it allowed me to catch up with my dear friend Emily (of Skinny Emmie fame!) at breakfast this morning.  Granted, I haven't eaten much for the rest of the day because my appetite obviously isn't back fully yet, but hey, it's a start, right?

Tomorrow we are off to sunny Florida for the next three weeks and boy are we all looking forward to it! After the bitter cold of Indianapolis, 80 degrees and half a mile from the beach?  YES PLEASE!

Catch you guys on Wednesday when we find out how this Plague will have affected my weigh in.

Buh-bye!

Weigh In Wednesday: 12/14/11

Highest Weight:                     310.0
Last Week Weight:                238.4
Current Weight:                     239.2* Must be noted that weighed on hotel gym scale, not my own

Current Gain:                            +.8

Total Loss:                              70.8

For the purpose of this blog, I am going to use this weigh in to be accurate.  I know that its not my own scale (that is currently at the theater packed in my other suitcase) so my own scale could say something slightly different.  I wouldn't be surprised if it were accurate though, but we shall see.

In regards to my experiment from last week about weighing in daily?  As much as I would like to do it everyday, its just not going to be possible for me to weigh in everyday because I do have to pack my scale Sundays and I typically won't have it again until Tuesday nights for a Wednesday morning weigh in.  (Didn't get it last night though, hence the different scale.)  Aside from the necessary breaks in the weigh ins, I did actually feel like the daily measurements were working.  It was keeping me to constantly be thinking about what I was eating, or how much I was exercising and the effects that it would have on what the scale told me.  So, I might continue weighing in daily when I can, we'll continue with this experiment.  I think I'm going to give it a full month and see what my weight is at the end of it.

Dreamers of the Dreams

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the Gene Wilder version, not the Johnny Depp version...)

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams..."


I'm sure it's probably actually in the Roald Dahl book, but I never read that as a child...  Anyway, that's besides the point.

I always loved this quote but I never actually lived by it.  Aside from a few career oriented goals, I never allowed myself to dream.  I lived by the cynical viewpoint of "why dream dreams, because its not like they are going to come true..."

How sad and depressing is THAT!?!

Now, I am happy to admit, I have a completely different outlook.  I find myself not only setting goals, but dreaming dreams.  Since I started this adventure 15 months ago, I feel as though I can accomplish what I set my mind to, so why not shoot for the moon?  Kind of a complete 180, don't you think?

Before I never even dared to dream that I would back to a more "normal" size.  That I could look in the mirror and say "Lookin' good today!"  That I could run for miles, or being lifting weights on a regular basis.  If I can achieve those things, who knows what else I can do?  The sky is the limit as far as I'm concerned.

I really like having a more positive outlook on life.  I always believed myself to be such a cynical (or as I liked to trick myself into believing a "realistic") person but in reality I was just a Debbie Downer.  I'm surprised I still manage to have friends!  I'm not saying that I don't have moments where the negative thoughts creep back in, but I would say its more like 90/10 in favor of more positivity where as it was probably completely reversed before.

Man, it feels good to be happy...

So, what kind of dreams are you dreaming?

Weigh-in Wednesdays Return! 12/7/11 Edition

Highest Weight (9/1/10):                         310.0

Last Official Weight (11/19/11):             245.0

Current Weight (12/7/11):                       238.4

Weight Lost since last weigh in:                 6.6

Total Weight Lost:                                    71.6

With the invention of Maia 2.1 I have decided that no matter what the outcome, I am back to posting my weigh ins.  I will see even a bad number as a learning experience and I will take from it and grow.   That is something that I forgot...  Accountability.  If I see a bad number, its because I earned it.  Either through blowing off workouts or not eating as I should.  I will hold myself responsible for my successes and my failures.

I am back to tracking food.  That means that I need to be eating more foods that I can track (ie, not eating out so much!).  When I was first losing weight, I maybe ate one or two meals a week that I didn't completely prepare myself.  I would guesstimate what their calories were and I would still track them.  Even if I was off by a bit, I was still noting them.  I haven't done this in a LONG time.  Even towards then end, I would typically stop tracking my food after lunch.  That's not okay!  That's not properly holding myself accountable!

There is currently a trend in the weight loss blogging world where people are tracking their weight daily in order to hold themselves accountable for their decisions the day before.  I'm debating whether or not to do this myself.  I would only officially count the weigh ins on Wednesdays, but in order to make sure I make good decisions everyday I would step on the scale and make note of it.  Maybe I'll try it for a week and see what it does for me mentally.  If it screws with my head too much, I'll stop and go back to just weighing weekly.  However, if I find it does affect my day to day decisions and I see the results?  Maybe I'll stick with it...

Tune in next week to see if I do the daily weigh in challenge!  Until then, live healthy lives and make good choices people!

Maia 2.1: The Newer and Even MORE Improved!

I don't know if you, my few readers, have noticed but I took a bit of a hiatus from the blog.  I felt like I wasn't writing anything interesting.  All I kept reporting was that I hadn't lost any weight, that I needed to get my eating back on track and that life on the road was good and interesting.

Well, I'm back and I still am reporting those same things.  I've been fluctuating within the same five pound range for the majority of the past two months.  I did drop down to my lowest weight of my adult life at one point, but two weeks later had sky rocketed back up.  I am happy that while I'm not eating the greatest things in the world, (scrumptious tater tots, I'm looking at YOU!) I'm still eating a helluva lot better than I was 16 months ago.  So, maintaining is good thing I suppose.  Because honestly I feel like I've been living like I would once I stop actively trying to lose weight and it shows that I will be able to maintain it.  However, the problem is obvious:  I still have a lot of weight to lose!  I can't be okay with just maintaining!

The Snack-age.  There used to be more!

As of my last weigh in, I have about 40 more pounds to lose until I hit my weight loss goal.  I can do it.  My problem comes with the snacking.  My meals aren't horrible, and my snacks aren't horrible.  However, I'm simply eating too much when I snack!  I'm a grazer for the most part and I currently have a mound of snacks by my desk.  What do I do with food sitting out in front of me?  I eat it!!  So, I'm officially cutting back on the snacks.  I need to remind myself that I don't need to eat unless I'm hungry!  I need to feel hunger again.  I am currently snacking too much to really feel it!  I will keep a yogurt or a tangerine around to curb a hunger pain, but I don't need eight different snacks to choose from!

My workouts have been lacking for the past week, but I'm not worried about that.  It was a stressful week and I went away for the weekend to visit a friend and made a choice not to pack my gym stuff.  The nice thing is, that I made a very difficult decision last week.  A decision that will result in a LOT less stress in my life (which I think might have also been contributing to my weight retention.  Stress is NOT good for losing weight!)  Plus, this barrier was causing me to start to morph back into a much less happy version of myself.  This version was bitchy and unhappy.  I don't like that version of myself.  But, I'm MUCH happier after I made this decision and that is also helping me to refocus and find my BALANCE again!

See, that's the other thing I realized during my hiatus.  I looked down at my tattoo (did I ever mention on here that I got a tattoo before tour?  I got a set of scales on my left wrist as a reminder to stay balanced... guess I need to look at it more often!) and it hit me that I'm all out of whack.  So, beginning this week, the balance shall be restored.

Meet Maia 2.1.  She's the even newer and better version.  Maia 2.0 was awesome, but she still had some flaws, so the kinks are being improved upon and expect to see the even shinier and newer Maia coming soon to a theater town near you.  :)