I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Okay, so I just have to talk about my last couple of days...

These past few days have been some of the most stressful in my entire life.

First of all, this week and next week my boss is on vacation.  This hasn't been all that stressful but more along the lines of time consuming.  I'm covering the majority of shows at night, so I'm getting home later than usual, which in turn is affecting my gym time.  I made the decision that in order for me to have my evenings to work on my thesis that I was going to need to become a morning work out person, but unfortunately this has not proven to be the case thus far.  I set my alarm early and I just hit the snooze button until its the normal time that I get up.  FAIL.

Here's the most stressful part...  My roommate and I currently live in a three bedroom apartment and had found someone to sublet our third bedroom starting September 1st, only this past Friday (the day before she was scheduled to give us her deposit and sign the agreement, mind you!) she backed out, leaving us a mere two and a half weeks to find someone for September.  This immediately scared the bejeezus out of me because I can't afford to pay half the rent should we not find someone!  Well, so I posted our apartment on Craigslist and the flood of responses came in.  I felt better because it said to me that we wouldn't have a problem finding someone, however it meant that it was going to take a massive amount of time to respond to the viable choices and arrange a meeting time, and then meet with them all.  This was time that I had planned to work on my thesis (we'll get to that in a second...), grocery shop (Because I was down to eating the emergency food, aka the cans of soup you have around in case you get sick...) and doing laundry (because I was left with either my scuzzy "only while doing laundry" t-shirts, or dressing up). 

I had to go to the theater yesterday for my matinee, stop by the office for a bit and then I headed home so that I could run my laundry down the street to the laundromat before they closed (because our laundromat doesn't stay open past 7PM.  It SUCKS!).  In the meantime, I had to reschedule a phone call for my thesis with a friend of mine because I didn't want to discuss this sensitive material in the midst of the shouting match between the two Chinese women who own/run the laundromat.  I figured I needed to give the conversation a bit more respect than that...  Luckily my friend Michael (THANK YOU AGAIN MICHAEL!!) was very understanding and I just got off the phone with him. 

In the meantime, I was still stressing about the apartment situation because now I'm basically having to look for two different people for the apartment.  One for September and then one to take over my room starting in October.  I was stressing out about it so much that I gave myself a killer migraine.  So, what did I do last night to make myself feel better about the whole situation and try and make my migraine seem less painful?  I ate.  I ate crap.  And the result?  As of today I'm 5 pounds heavier than I was on Wednesday.  I know, I shouldn't have weighed myself, but I really wanted to get an idea of what damage I had done.  Hopefully some of it is water weight from the copious amounts of sodium I inhaled, and some of it might be water weight because it's time for my monthly visitor...  But mostly its the result of my bad decisions.  Did that food taste good?  Yes.  Did it solve my problems?  No.  Do I feel better about my problems because of the food?  No.

I also haven't been to the gym in the past four days because of my insane schedule, but that will stop today.  Today I actually have the day off, and even though I have four appointments to show the apartment tonight and I have to work on my thesis, I am demanding that I go to the gym for an hour and work off the nastiness of yesterday.  My head is no longer throbbing (it was so bad it made me nauseous which has NEVER happened before) and I want to get my sweat on.  An hour of cardio sounds like heaven to me right now.  Honestly, what I really want to do is go for a swim but that will have to wait until later in the week unfortunately.  I haven't been in a while and I have been having a craving.  That's actually something I'm really looking forward to on the road.  Most of my hotels (I'm assuming) are going to have a pool that I can swim in easily.

I'm making the vow to you and myself now: this week will be better.  I went grocery shopping (in VERY sucky weather I might add) so I have no excuses to not eat properly.  I will have shown the apartment to probably 10-15 people by the end of tomorrow and we've already offered it to someone.  Hopefully by the end of the day tomorrow, this will be resolved as well.  That just takes me back to where I was before Friday in trying to balance work, exercise and my thesis.  But, balance is key for me.  I can do all three, I just need to make time for them all. 

I can do it. 

I can do it.

I can do it.