Birthday Reflections

Today is my 32nd birthday.

I can't believe another year has passed.

I'm having a birthday pie, not cake

I must admit I tend to get depressed on my birthday.  I always have the tendency to look back and see what wasn't accomplished rather than what was.  It's the day that even if I'm surrounded by friends, I tend to feel the most alone.

Last year on my birthday, the tour was in Las Vegas, NV.  It was a fun night I will admit.  A lot of the company came out for a drink and even my best friend Jason drove for HOURS and HOURS from the DFW area to visit me for the week.  I lost a lot of money to the Golden Nugget, but it was a good time.  Yet despite the good time, when I laid down to bed at the end of the night I felt the sadness that I always feel start to wash over me.  I had held it off, but it managed to creep it's way in at the last minute.

This year, I'm on layoff from the tour and I'm at my Mom's house in Kentucky.  I tend to not do a whole lot when I'm here because I mostly use this as a hideaway to relax and recuperate.  This year I'm also using it as a place to lose as much weight before I head back to the constant temptation that is NYC.

Since I'm trying to break my habit this year of getting depressed and only seeing the bad, I'm going to list the good accomplishments I've achieved this past year since my 31st birthday.  Here goes:

 - I've visited three other countries (Canada, Japan (twice!) and New Zealand)

 - I've visited 26 cities (some for the first time, some repeat trips)

 - I've visited 19 states

 - This time last year I weighed 244.9, which means I'm down almost 21 pounds since this time last year.

- Since my heaviest weight of last year (254.9) , I've lost almost 31 pounds

- Even though I'm still kind of stuck clothing size wise, I know that I will eventually move down the next size and hopefully one more.

- I've lost 85 pounds since Labor Day 2010

- I'm less than 25 pounds from my goal weight.

I'm sure that there are others, but I can't think of them at the moment.  There are still goals that I have for myself that don't have anything to do with my career or weight loss and those are the ones that I need to start really focusing my energy.  I was able to accomplish so much more than I ever though possible, so I know that I can accomplish my other goals as well.

Well, I guess for now I just need to remember the positive and try to keep the negative out of my thoughts.  I think that seeing the movie "This Is The End" today with my mother (I know!  I can't believe she wants to see it either, but she LOVED Pineapple Express!) will keep my spirits uplifted.