Thank you for being a friend...

As many of you who know me can attest, or for those who can read my description of this blog at the top of the page, you know of my ultimate unhealthy obsession.


We're talking about the original Sex and the City women, only it was a different city: Miami!


That's right, ladies and gentlemen it's time to discuss the loves of my life, The Golden Girls!


I honestly don't remember when I started loving this show so much. I mean, I remember watching it when I was little with my parents but of course I didn't understand anything that was happening. Then during my high school/college years Lifetime start showing reruns and I've never been the same.


I do have a bone to pick with the current channels airing the episodes though. WE, Hallmark Channel? Are you listening?


STOP EDITING THE EPISODES!


I don't care if you do have 189 commercials you must air during an episode. Make it work without harming my Girls! You are cutting some of the best one-liners out, plus making incredibly awkward edits. You've even edited out an occasional "damn." Don't deny it!


I recently heard that Rue McClanahan had a stroke. The quartet has already been decreased to a duo in just the past two years. While I heard she is recovering well, it still saddens me. She is the one Golden Girl that I've had the privilege to meet. I was working for a theatrical General Manager at the time and she was a close friend of his. When she came into the office my heart stopped for a moment. My boss introduced me and made sure to point out to Blanche, I mean Rue, that I was from the south. (I guess Kentucky is the south...maybe. Depends who you're talking to and where you are currently located.)


When she heard I was from the south she said to me, "You're from the south? And your name is Maia? Well, that's not a southern name. I'm going to call you Maia Sue."



Again, I nearly died of cardiac arrest.

Anyway, I watch these episodes now and I think about how groundbreaking this show really was. It dealt with issues that not many shows acknowledged at the time. Here were four women all over the age of 50 discussing their sex lives, the pains of getting older, same-sex marriages (hello, made in the 80s!) and who can ever forget Dorothy's battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome...

Seriously though, this show paved the way for a show like Sex and the City to be on the air! Samantha is our modern day Blanche, Miranda is Dorothy, Charlotte is Rose and I guess that makes Carrie the Sophia? Hmm, I might have to rethink that one...

Anyway, I know people make fun of me for my obsession with this show but I don't care. I'm sure 9 out of 10 of these people could probably hum the theme song if they thought about it.

Oh well, they can just keep right on judging me. Won't make me stop. I'm going to keep watching these reruns until they go off the air, and even then I'll have my DVDs to keep me entertained.

This is Maia Sue. Over and out.

Friend or Foe?

Oh Snooze Button, how I love you.

Oh Snooze Button, how I loathe you.

How can you be my friend and foe at the same time? Sometimes you are so good to me! You let me sleep that extra 9 (or 18, or 27) minutes and yet I am still able to wake up with enough time to get to work. Of course, this may or may not have to do with the fact that I purposefully set my alarm earlier than need be so that we can spend each morning together.

But what about those days when you just don't want to let me go? Like this morning? I love you too Snooze Button, but sometimes you just need to cut the cord, ok? I have to leave you, no matter how much I don't want to...

Maybe it's time we stop seeing each other all together Snooze Button. I mean, we've had a good run while it lasted but I have a feeling its starting to become an unhealthy relationship. It's getting harder and harder each morning for you to let me go and I think it might just be easier for us in the long run if we just completely sever ties now. Just go cold turkey, what do you think?

Just a thought.

Yeah, I thought not.

See you tomorrow dear Snooze Button.

Dear Strep Throat...

Dear Strep Throat:

GO AWAY! I hate you! I hated you when I was ten years old and would get you every winter. I hate you now and the fact that you have kept me awake for the past two nights. I hate that you make me feel like I'm drowning in my own spit because I can't swallow!

I hate that I can't eat solid food! I hate gargling with salt water!

DIE STREP THROAT, DIE!

Signed,

Maia

Watch those hands buddy!

I willingly admit to the fact that I am a fan of good ten minute back massage at a nail salon. Almost always after my manicure is complete, I indulge myself in a back massage that costs about $15. Sometimes its worth every penny and sometimes I'm gravely disappointed. But, never less, I'm sure at least an ounce or two of lactic acid has been squeezed out of a muscle and I will at least feel better for a bit. I tend to carry all of my tension in my shoulders, so its worth it to me to feel those knots disappear even if it is only for a moment or two.

However, lately I've started to notice a trend at my local nail salon. I must say this upfront, I would never even consider finding another salon because this place's manicure lasts me longer than any other manicure I've had in this city. They are the best I've found. I will not give them up! The problem is obviously not with the manicure, but with the massage that comes after.

I've noticed what was intended as a back massage tends to wander to other places!

No, not there you dirty minded people!

I'm saying as I sit in the massage chair, they tend to move pretty far down my back to the point where I have to ask myself, "Do they realize they are essentially massaging my ass?" I mean, it's not a high tension area generally speaking. I'm sorry, but the only time I am okay with this area being massaged period is only in my fantasies and there my masseuse looks spectacularly like Alex Skarsgard... No offense to the lovely ladies at the nail salon.

Maybe I need to start being more specific.

Rather than tell them I want a back massage, I ask for a shoulder massage. ONLY shoulders!

Maybe I should get a tramp stamp that says "Do Not Touch Below THIS Line!"

Either way, my bum is not to be massaged, thank you!

Help! I'm covered in bees!

One night while I was still in high school I was flipping channels one night (remember flipping channels? Wow, that's such an extinct art now!) when I came across a stand-up comedian on HBO. The fact that he was wearing make-up, heels and a pair of shiny pleather-like pants didn't just catch my attention... The fact that he had me laughing after just a moment's viewing made me stay on the channel. That moment was an eye opener. It was my first, albeit incomplete, viewing of Eddie Izzard's Emmy Award winning "Dressed to Kill" special. I have never looked back. He is one of my longest unhealthy obsessions, and one that I never see going away.

Since that moment, I have shared a very serious and intense love affair with Mr. Izzard. He's just not aware of it.

I own all of his stand up DVDs and have seen the vast majority of his acting roles, and believe me when I say some of those are movies only a true fan would enjoy... *ahem* All the Queen's Men *ahem* It wasn't until I moved to New York that I was finally fortunate enough to see this brilliant man perform live.

The first time was two years ago when he was performing at the Union Square Theatre, trying out material for his upcoming tour. Being the incredible fortunate person that I am, I contacted my friend in the box office at the theater (Thanks Mandy! I never forgot this favor!!) who was able to hook me and 7 of my nearest and dearest up with FOURTH row tickets. Amazing. It wasn't as thought out as his normal stand up routines, he was testing out new material. About ten minutes of the night were spent making fun of a guy making some weird noises in the back. But, it was one of the most amazing 90 minutes of my entire life. With tears streaming down my cheeks I vowed then and there that if I were ever given more opportunities to see him live, I would be there every single time.

And I have.

That following summer he performed at Radio City Music Hall in the now official tour called "Stripped." I attended with my littler sister in tow, whom I had converted into an Eddie Izzard fan at a very young age. I hobbled my way into the second balcony of Radio City and on crutches no less, as I had had surgery just a few weeks prior. Didn't stop me. Come hell or high water, I was going to see Eddie. And believe me, that was no easy feat! And again, it was a priceless memory. Seeing him on that infamous stage was amazing.

What I love about Eddie Izzard is that he is not only an amazing comedian and a talented actor (he just made some bad choices there for a while) but he is just an amazing individual. He recently completed not one, but 43 marathons in 51 days for charity. That's right. 43. He is very active politically and he's not afraid to speak his mind. He says what everyone is thinking, but afraid to say aloud. He's smart, and he makes you think.

Last July, I was thankfully notified by Ticketmaster that tickets for Eddie Izzard were going on sale to the public the next morning at ten a.m. for a gig in Madison Square Garden. Definitely not a typical venue for Mr. Izzard, who has primarily performed in theaters, not arenas. I gathered my troops and we were lucky enough to get floor seats. Knowing that the Stripped tour hadn't performed a new gig in a while, and the fact that it was in Madison Square Garden led me to believe that they might be recording this performance. I was right. As we walked in, there was a huge platform of cameras about fifty feet behind us and two large cameras on booms close to the stage. At first I wondered if they might be the cameras for the three jumbo-trons that were set up around the stage, but consider once Eddie came out, those cameras were steady, I knew the boom cameras were for a recording. But the thing that convinced me the most were the cameras going up and down the aisles filming crowd reaction shots. (Keep an eye out for me! I wasn't on an aisle but they filmed my section a lot!)

Even though I had already seen this particular routine about three times now, it still made me laugh until tears sprang to my eyes. It was truly an experience having seen him play in one of the most famous venues in the world. Prior to Eddie coming out on stage, they played audio of an interview he must have done a number of years ago. In it, the interviewer asked Eddie what venues he would like to play in his lifetime. In it, he mentioned Madison Square Garden.

Well, he's done it. Well done, Eddie. Well done.

But, I have to say the moment that I think really proves to me that he's a superstar? At the end of his encore when a woman threw her panties on the stage.

Now THAT'S an "I've made it!" moment!

I would like some cheese with my grilled cheese, please!

I have to say, I seem to have drawn the short end of the stick lately when it comes to my food deliveries.

Like most New Yorkers, I don't cook nearly as much as I should. It's just difficult when there are so many choices and they ALL deliver! Plus, when it comes down to it, its not that much more expensive to order than when I cook. So, instead of standing in my miniscule kitchen at the end of a long day when all I want to do is lay on my bed and watch episodes of Glee, I order from Delivery.com and eat in the comfort of my room or living room.

I tend to order from the same places, and honestly I think I need to start to expand my horizons because all my regular places seem to be screwing me over lately!

I'm sorry, but how can you simply forget half my order? I've had drinks forgotten, side orders ignored, hell I've even had half my main course never make it to my door! Whenever this happens, I always stop and think for a moment... "Is it worth it for me to call and complain?" I mean, in the grand scheme of things most of the time the item that was forgotten is really only a dollar or so... Nine times out of ten, I always decide to call the restaurant and tell them because I did infact pay for that item, and therefore I am entitled to it!

I don't really understand where my bad food delivery karma comes from, but alas, I have it. I guess I just don't understand why so many mistakes are always made. I mean, I'm someone who believes that you should always do you absolute best at your job and if you can't do that, then you should move on. I mean, how hard is it really to read my order ticket and see that I ordered a Diet Coke? Not a Sprite. I'm sorry, but those are two VERY different things! You work in the service industry! It is your JOB to get the order right! My favorite is when they actually take offense to when you tell them they made a mistake! As if to say, "How DARE you say I did you wrong! You should be happy you got food at ALL!"

I do find some comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in this bad food karma-land. My friend Susan told me what I determine to be a classic... She once ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. What did she get?

Two pieces of TOAST.

She had to call the restaurant and tell them they forgot the cheese in her cheese sandwich!

At least my mistakes could easily be explained away with the "we forgot to put it in the bag" excuse.

Now that restaurant Susan ordered from has to worry about reading tests for their employees...

"What does this say?"

"Cheese."

"You're hired."

Til we meet in Glocca Morra...

This week marks the final week of performances of Finian's Rainbow. This show has been such a journey for me, and its coming to a bittersweet end.

I found the job after months of endless searching, and it was perfectly timed. It was to be my first Broadway show in a company management capacity.

Now, after months of pouring blood, sweat and tears (Quite literally, tears...) it is to perform its last performance this coming Sunday. I will be sad to see it go. I was fortunate enough to enjoy the show I was working on (which is not always the case in company management-land) and I do have to say I met some very awesome people along the way.

There were lessons learned and wisdom imparted.

Number were crunched and tickets sold.

Unfortunately, just not enough...

Now I have the next journey of my life awaiting me: Unemployment.

I've been on this adventure before and I know I'm in for a bumpy ride. I'm actually quite looking forward to have a bit of time off in the beginning. Lord knows I could use a break, and I'm looking forward to having *GASP* two days off in a row. It's the third, fourth, fifth, etc.... that I'm worried about! But honestly, I'm looking forward to getting some stuff done that I've been putting off. I'm going to visit my sister in California. I'm going to get to be in Trisha's wedding without worrying about how much time off I'm taking. I'm finally going to take down the fruit wallpaper trimming my bedroom and paint it to look like an adult lives there. Hell, I might even dust off my paper writing abilities and start working on my thesis. I know, I know... Let's see what actually gets accomplished! But, I have high hopes. I mean, I can't go into this situation assuming that I'm going to fail, right?

Of course, I would toss all of these plans aside in a SECOND if I were to be offered a job.

I think another reason I'm kind of going into this period of unemployment with a bit of a heavy heart is because of my impending birthday. I know, I know, its six months away... But it's a big one.

29.

The last official birthday in my 20s. It's starting to wig me out.

But, I'm sure there will be more on that subject later as the date rapidly approaches.

Honestly, I know everything is going to be okay. It's worked out before and it will work out again and almost always in a way that I never would have suspected.

I just need to remember to "Look to the Rainbow..."