Tomorrow is another day

Today I had a minor setback in Project: Healthy Maia.

This setback doesn't actually have to do with weight, but with another part of myself that I've been trying to get healthy as well and that's my spirit.

I know, I know it probably sounds corny as hell but this summer was a really bad one for me. As I believe I mentioned previously, when someone has essentially built their entire life around their career and has made it a major part of who they are, when that person isn't working they tend to feel lost and like they've lost a major part of their very being. I've been in this state of nothingness since May when I last worked.

In June, I interviewed (twice actually) for a job. Then the company went through some major restructuring and I thought the job I was interviewing for disappeared along with a lot of other things. I had completely written it off. Then, about a month ago I was contacted again and was informed that the job did still indeed exist and they were still interested. Color me excited!

Today I received an email telling me that they were wrong. No job. I felt like someone had just popped the balloon that was my self worth. All of a sudden the progress that I had been making this past month towards a happier version of myself was gone. I am back where I started (only now 8 pounds lighter) and I feel as if I've wasted these past 4 weeks that could have been spent sincerely looking for a job in earnest instead of waiting around for this job that now never was. Who knows how many jobs I could have applied for in that amount of time?

I know I will eventually find a job, but its hard

not to feel a bit helpless and hopeless right now.

I guess the difference in myself now from the myself of 4 weeks ago is that I know I will eventually be okay. I can't dwell on it forever. I need just brush myself off and get right back on the horse again. Tonight, however, I'm allowing myself to wallow in my unemployment. But only for tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up, and take charge again. Because as Scarlett O'Hara once taught us, tomorrow is another day.

I think I'll go for a walk outside now

So, in order for me to start working towards a newer, healthier version of myself one of the major changes I was going to have to make was to actually get up off my butt and MOVE!

I have never been an exceptionally active individual. I mean, sure I played outside as a kid, but I was never one to play organized team sports or go running just for fun. In fact the very thought of running makes me dry heave. The closest I ever got to being extremely active, and when I was probably the healthiest in my life was when I was in my high school marching band. Now many may scoff, but you try holding up an instrument (doesn't matter that I played flute!) for ten straight minutes and then add in hauling ass across a football field. It isn't easy, believe me!

Well, since the days of marching band are far behind me, I need to find other ways to stay healthy. I'm kind of on a tight budget right now since the job situation is not exactly where I would like it to be at the moment, which means that I need to find a way to exercise that doesn't involve me joining a gym at the moment.

What did I come up with?

CENTRAL PARK!

It's kind of silly that Central Park is within 100 feet of my front door and I wasn't utilizing it properly until this summer. What's even better than the fact that Central Park is 100 feet from my house? The fact that just a short 2 minute walk inside the park brings me to

the Reservoir!

For those who live outside of New York City, the Reservoir is the BIG body of water in the park that you always see people running and walking around in movies. Think Charlotte in the first Sex and the City movie.

It has a great path that leads around the outside of it that is 1.5 miles long and its well maintained (i.e. no dips and holes. Considering my history with holes in the ground, this is a VERY good thing!)

This picture to the right was taken on today's walk. Not too shabby right?

I do venture from the Reservoir as well. Just this past Sunday I took a very long meandering hike through the park with Katie. We walk through parts I never knew existed in the park before. I'm just weary of some of the paths because they are not nearly as well kept as the Reservoir's path. Like I said, I'm weary of holes in the ground!

I know its not always going to be an ideal place and come winter it might not be very possible at all to use, but for right now these walks are getting the job done and helping me on my road to a newer, healthier me.

Next post I'll talk about what I use to stay healthy when the weather doesn't permit outside exercise. Imagine hula hoops.

TTFN

M

Gone but not forgotten!

For the two of you that used to read this blog, I must apologize. I may have not been writing for a LONG while, but I haven't forgotten about this blog.

As my close friends (or really anyone who is friends with me on facebook) can attest, I went through a bit of a bad summer. For someone who has spent the vast majority of her adulthood focusing on building and bettering her career almost to the point where I was ignoring my "real" life, to be unemployed has left me almost without an identity. I think I went through my "Quarter Life Crisis" a bit late it seems.

It was really up through very recently that I spent the majority of my day being depressed and doing nothing. Then it really was as if I was hit by lightening. I turned 29 in June and I realized that is roughly 10 months time I am going to be turning the big 3-0. I can't keep living my life like the way I was! I was incredibly unhealthy. Not watching what I ate AT ALL, and barely any activity. If I kept this up, I was going to be yet another one of my extended family members to be diabetic, and who knows what other health issues would start to arise. My blood pressure was already starting to creep up according to my last visit to the doctor. I couldn't keep going on like this!

So I've decided to make a change. Not just a subtle, simple change. A LIFESTYLE change. I needed to start watching what I eat. I needed to be exercising and just general MOVING at least 3-4 times per week. Honestly, the weight issue (I'm at the highest weight of my life) was secondary in all of this. HEALTH is the goal. Obviously the weight would drop off as a result of my lifestyle change, but I'm not even bothering to set an official weight goal.

Here is another realization that I came to in all of this self exploration. I'm PRETTY! My friends can attest I have horrible self esteem when it comes to the way that I look, so this realization is actually pretty major. I've spent my entire life thinking that I was ugly (now I'm not telling you this because I'm fishing for compliments, I'm simply being honest) and it just suddenly hit me one day as I was looking in the mirror that I actually have a REALLY pretty face. I need to get healthy and fit so that I can give myself the body that my face deserves. This may sound really silly to some of you, but alas this is another of my discoveries...

"Why are you telling me all this?" You might be asking... I'm telling you because I think that I will be using this blog as a tool to help me in what I have deemed "Project: Healthy Maia." I was inspired to write about my journey in blog form by a friend of mine back from the middle school days, Emily. She writes an amazing blog at skinnyemmie.com that is inspiring, witty, intelligent and moving where she is sharing her amazing journey to lose weight and find a healthier (both physically and mentally) version of herself. She shares her highs and lows with her readers and it seems to have helped her a great deal. I STRONGLY encourage anyone who has ever dealt with similar issues with their weight/health to take a look at her blog. You'll get hooked, I promise you!

Anyway, this is all I'm going to share for now. Stay tuned for (hopefully) frequent updates on Project: Healthy Maia. I will also continue to write about other subjects as they strike me.

Until next time, good night and good luck.